The American icon and softcore pornography mogul Hue Hefner was found dead today at the age of 85. Cause of death has been determined by medical examiners in the state of California as a Viagra overdose. Gloria Mendez, his Puerto Rican midget house keeper said her and Hefner were engaged in sexual activities with many of his exotic and household pets as well as 24 year old girl friend Shera Beshard. This five hour orgy involved nachos, peyote and bubble wrap as well as one blow up doll who went unharmed. “One minute he was saying, roll over sugar, i want to rub oil on those churros and the next he was gone.” – Gloria Mendez. His girlfriend Shera Bershard told Let’s Rage in an exclusive that his penis stayed hard long after he had perished, not only making her a necrophiliac but making it the first time she had reached full orgasm with the 85 year old. PETA is investigating the disappearance of Hefner’s peacock Peter and offering extensive mental health care for the animals involved with the death. Former United States President Bill Clinton declared today National Hue Hefner Day.
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